LIFE!

Life is like a blackman’s left butt-its neither fair nor right

gilmored!

[Richard hears from his mother at Friday night dinner.]
Emily: [So] you were on the phone…
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai…
Lorelai: So, God is a woman.
Richard: Lorelai…
Lorelai: And a relative! That's so cool. I am gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, if I could.
Lorelai: I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's gonna make getting Madonna tickets so much easier.

Lorelai: I hate when I'm an idiot and I don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, to take pictures. I missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.

Lorelai: This is amazing chicken, Mom. I mean it, really great.
Emily: Thank you, Lorelai.
Lorelai: It's like super-chicken. I bet it could fly. Have you tried tossing it out the window?

Lorelai: I'll be in in a minute.
Luke: Who are you talking to?
Lorelai: My other two personalities.

Lorelai: Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments.

Rory: I have never seen Grandma so singularly obsessed about a piece of clothing.
Lorelai: Not since I wore my "Gas, Grass, Or Ass — No One Rides For Free" T-shirt to the Junior League spring tea.

Lorelai: Ok we gotta make sure we got everything on the list. Rory read out the list.
Rory: Beer.
Girl: Check.
Rory: More beer.
Lorelai: Check.
Rory: Pretzels and beer.
Girl: Check.
Rory: Various chocolately treats. Alternative alcohol for those who don't like beer, and beer.
Girl: Check.